The question is: What was our most recent google chat conversation about?
me: Hey, did you get my fax?
It was an order for 50 boobie braces.
And 97 wiener braces.
"shlong splints," if you will.
Brandon: Oh yea, sorry I haven't got back to you, I was wearing all 97 wiener braces
me: On one wiener?!
Layers?
Brandon: So many layers
My penis was SUPPORTED
me: and SUFFOCATED
Brandon: SO HOT
my penis was SO HOT
me: sweatin' up dem braces
Brandon: they were all soaking wet
me: I hope your wiener braces have drip holes
Brandon: They're well ventilated. That's why they are so high quality.
me: Which explains how you can afford a fax machine
Brandon: exactly
I receive and send faxes ON THE DAILY
me: rollin' in the big brace bucks
NONSTOP FAXING
Brandon: I've got giney ones too
me: vagina faxes or vagina braces?
Brandon: both clearly
me: that makes sense.
takes a giney fax to order a giney brace.
Brandon: Right
You must put ink on your vagina
make a giney print
and fax it to me
me: Well, considering the only fax machine I have access to is at work, doing such a thing would probably cause me to lose my job.
But... what the hell!
Anything for a laugh!
Brandon: I'm glad your priorities are in order
me: I'M AN ADULT
Brandon: There's a fax machine at my dad's store too... I'll send a cock fax there
MY DAD IS NOT A PHONE
me: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GROUND
You can send cock faxes from your dad's work now... because he knows you're gay!
Brandon: hahahaha EXACTLY
me: "That's just what gay guys do, Dad!"
"Oh! Okay, son!"
Brandon: "Please, use my ink on your penis!"
me: "Have the whole box of inkjet, son!"
"Anything for the cause!"
Brandon: "Thanks dad! I'm sending a print of my cock to every available gay man with a fax machine!"
me: You'll have a hubby in no time!
Bring on the adopted babies! Bradgelina, step aside!
Brandon: I'm adopting THEIR kids from them!
me: HEY-OH!
That'll learn 'em for being rich!
Brandon: hahahaha FUCK 'EM
me: Gosh, are we poor, single, and bitter or WHAT?!
Brandon: hahahaha for real
me: Whatevs!
Brandon: hahaha
me: I'm broke but I'm HAAPPPPEEEEEEEE
*flail*
I'M SICK BUT I'M PUH-RIDDY
HEY YAYAYAYAYA
Brandon: *jaw unhinging while singing*
me: Thank you, India.
Brandon: Thank you, terror.
me: Thank you DIS - ILL-US-ION-ME-E-ENT
Brandon: Thank you, frailty.
me: Thank you, confideeeence
(I think? You know these lyrics better than I.)
Brandon: consequence? maybe?
Thank you, THANK YOU SILENCE
me: How 'bout enjoying the moment for once?!
Fucker!
Brandon: How 'bout them transparent dangling carrots?!?!?!?!?!
FUCK. LOOK AT THEM.
me: SO DANGLY
Brandon: YOU CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH THOSE FUCKERS
me: I want to brace 'em and fax 'em
Brandon: hahahahahaha
me: You know... I never met a carrot I didn't like
EXCEPT THIS ONE!!!!
Brandon: Let me hold my vageen
I'm a pirate
me: I am now hermetically sealed to the bike.
Brandon: I gave myself a chest cameltoe
me: Wow. Fax me a pic.
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