To the left, to the left

Earlier this week I was shopping at Ye Olde Local Publix and as I was scanning the frozen fruit selection, I couldn't help but notice an employee from behind the meat case making eyes at me and smiling. A few minutes later, he was wheeling out a dolly of dead animals, still making eyes and throwing a smile my way. I couldn't help but think of some wise words from Ms. Beyonce:

"You must not know 'bout me, you must not know 'bout me." And then I wanted to direct him and his wheeled, four-tiered vessel of meat to the left, to the left, so long as "to the left" was away from me.

Seriously, talk about barking up the wrong lady tree! There's no possible way I could date someone who chops up dead animals (or live ones, for that matter) for a living (or for a hobby, for that matter). Several years ago, I was hanging out with a friend of mine at the tattoo shop where she worked (she did piercings). The tattoo shop was situated in a strip mall alongside several other random businesses, one of which was a butcher shop. Everyone who worked in the strip mall was friendly with one another, an interesting community. While I was hanging out with her, a young man who worked at the butcher shop popped in a couple of times and chatted a bit. When the man went back to his shop, he texted my friend, asking about me, saying I was cute and funny, etc. My friend found this HILARIOUS: "The Butcher Boy has the hots for the VEEEE-GAAAAAN!"

I mean, we've all heard that saying "opposites attract," but in the case of A Vegan and a A Butcher, that is so not happening.