Wait For It

Amanda,

I hope your Valentine's hard cider hasn't left you too headache-y today. I'm pretty sure you don't get hangovers like crazy anyway, and, well, it's just hard cider. You can't handle some hard cider? You can't handle shit.

So the list of things you appreciate about me was heartwarming and lovely. I really am fascinated by asparagus pee- what's the deal with that? Asparagus tastes so good going in (and smells sumptuous), but when you pee after eating it the smell is like a rotten diaper. Okay, I'm being hyperbolic. It's not that bad, but it's pretty awful. What happens between mouth and urethra that causes this?! And asparagus is a solid food- shouldn't it also make poop smell weird too? Wait... poop already smells bad. Nevermind.

I think you should know that, as I write this, Mariah Carey's cover of Journey's "Open Arms" came up at random on my Spotify. How could our love be sooooo... blind?

I should make a list of things I appreciate about you also, but the list would be endless. Instead, I'll just say that I know you'd never leave my side. A forever friend. We're solid as a rock. And hilarious. And pretty as shit. Damnit, we're pretty. Seriously.

I'll leave you with this today:



I cannot begin to explain how hard I laughed at this. As the title says, you really do have to wait for it, but... the end is so worth it. I'll never sing "Someone Like You" alone in my car quite the same way again.

Love you, boo,
Brandon